


I overthink until (I can't open up)

by Yellowpillows



Series: The Sun, the Moon, and You [3]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18425298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellowpillows/pseuds/Yellowpillows
Summary: They're at the Alumni weekend. It's supposed to be a happy event. So why does Emily feel like she's drowning?





	I overthink until (I can't open up)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IStanTheUswnt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IStanTheUswnt/gifts).



> I'm in a really bad headspace, this is what resulted.
> 
> Also you might have to read be main fic to understand what Emma and Emily are texting about but other wise you're good. 
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos its how I see how I did.

Alumni weekend’s been on the back of her mind all week. Not only because she gets to see the veteran and retired players but simply because she gets to spend time with Kelley. 

 

Kelley was with them at camp for a few days in California but since she was only there for the technical meetings, she had flown home early for some endorsement events. Emily missed her girlfriend dearly, she’s been deprived of quality time with her for a few weeks now. 

 

///////

 

Emily was excited for Alumni Weekend.

 

Until Mittsy pulls Kelley into a 2 hour conversation with her, Boxxy, and Christie which leaves her playing with the kids. They play some pick up soccer with Tobin who also would rather play with the kids than talk to the adults. The game’s less than fair but it’s hard to play soccer with 7 kids charging at you. Soon she feels sweat dripping down her back so she excuses herself for a drink. 

 

At the bar she finds Kelley having an intense conversation with Kling about overseas opportunities so she just gets herself a water and stands there awkwardly. 

 

Kelley smiles at her acknowledging her for a second before immersing herself back into the conversation. 

 

Emily sits down at the bar and sets down her drink. Pulling out her phone she sees some notifications.

 

Emma (TWINSIE)

 

I brought up your wedding to 

Mom and Dad.

2:12

 

And?...

2:34

I’m sorry Em.

2:34

Don’t be, I figured.

2:35

How’s the reunion going?

2:35 

Good, I just wish I was

In the mood to talk to people.

2:35

Bad Mental health day?

2:35

To say the least.

2:36

Tell Kelley!

2:36

She’s busy

2:36

Em... I know how you get.

She’s not too busy to acknowledge

You’re having a bad day.

2:27

I will, I gtg. Talk later?

2:28

Read.

  
  
  


///////

 

Emily sets down her phone and rubs her eyes. Her eyes are stinging, probably as a result of her restlessness last night. Eleven o'clock had morphed into twelve and then one. She only managed to grab a few hours of sleep after her body was completely exhausted and she felt the familiar tiredness in her chest. 

 

The path she’s been going down was a dark one and she knows it. Travelling for games doesn’t exactly leave a lot of time for her to talk to her therapist. US Soccer provides therapists that travel with them but she doesn’t really like talking to them. With them, everything is soccer oriented and sometimes her problems aren’t intertwined with soccer. Sometimes she’s sad and she can’t explain it. 

 

That’s the way she woke up this morning, feeling like a truck hit her. The sadness drained through her rather than skating over her skin. It hollows out, her shell holding in a thousand oceans of tears. She feels the ice falls against the glass,  her fingers sliding on the condensation before she finishes off her drink. 

 

She feels a soft hand on her back and she flinches. She turns around to see Kelley, who was looking at her softly with a hint of concern. She hated it when she seemed needy, it was her biggest pet peeve about herself. 

 

Kelley swivels her bar chair and turns her around. 

 

“What’s on your mind?” She asks, she traces her fingers gently along Emily’s jaw. She feels herself leaning into her touch. 

 

Emily shrugs, “I’m just in a really bad headspace right now,” She admits, her voice almost as  quite as a whisper. 

 

_ She can’t take it. She can’t take it. She. Can’t. Take. It.  _

 

Because she’s a mess and Kelley’s looking at her with so much love. 

 

_ Love that she doesn’t deserve. _

 

“I’m sorry for being like this, I know that this weekend is important,”

 

Kelley shakes her head and pulls Emily close, “No, come on let's go find a quiet room,”    
  
Emily tries to protest but Kelley’s already holding out her hand for her to hold. 

 

They find a quiet room across the hall from the convention ballroom, Kelley sits down next to her on the couch and pulls her close.

 

“You don’t have to say anything, I’m here babe,”

 

She falls in love all over again because time and time again, Kelley always seems to know what she needs. 

 

Kelley wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close, gently tracing circles on her arm.  Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against Kelley's.

 

Emily breaks, “I don’t understand why I just,” She takes a deep breath trying to calm her brain down, “I don’t get why I’m always sad and I’m just a burden,” 

 

“Hey, Hey, you could never be a burden,” Kelley starts rocking them back and forth soothingly. 

 

“I love you, there’s a room of people who love you across the hall. Anytime you feel like this and I’m not there please tell one of them, promise me,” Kelley holds out her pinky.

 

Emily intertwines her pinky with Kelley’s and kisses her chastely, she feels herself calming down into a neutral mood.

  
Kelley stays close to her for the rest of the day, she still feels like she’s drowning but the difference is;  _ there’s someone there to drag her to shore when she forgets to breathe. _


End file.
